Bees in Winter

Recently, I have met a few people who also suffer from chronic migraines and, as expected, most of us have tried the same meds, the same treatments, and have experienced similar side effects and confronted the same judgements. It's nice to talk to people who get it, so to speak. But, at the same time, it is a little disheartening when you are confronted with the fact that very little advancements have been made in the last several years in the study or treatment of migraines. Also, we still have a lot of work to do to educate non migraine sufferers on the fact that a migraine is NOT "just a headache."
In Indiana, this year, we have had virtually no Winter. It has been unseasonably mild. Furthermore, the weather has been increasingly erratic--40's and raining one day, 20 degrees and windy the next. Basically, a nightmare for the migraine sufferer. And, the bees, the bees continue to come and mark the pain.
One thing that has helped me lately is essential oils. After doing some extensive research, I put together a blend of essential oils that I call "Migraine Soother." I put the mixture in a roller bottle & apply directly to my forehead & temples when the migraine strikes. It doesn't get rid of the pain, but it definitely takes the edge off a bit, makes the pain a little less acute. More on this & where you can get some later.

Wishing you all more pain-free days & sleep-filled nights.

Spread the Word!

Order this awesome t-shirt and stop the spread of the lie that migraines are just bad headaches!

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Asleep at the Wheel

Recently, I was driving my daughter to the dentist one morning after having just dropped my other three children at the bus stop, when I nodded off at the wheel. I, unknowingly drove right through an intersection, luckily the light was green! Then, my truck slammed into a curb, at which point I bolted awake and steered the truck into an adjacent McDonald's parking lot to inspect the damage. Both tires on the passenger side were destroyed, as well as, the rims. All in all, this momentary slip of consciousness cost me about $680. It could have cost me a lot more. I shudder at the more awful ways this could have gone done. What if the light had been red? What if I had drifted the opposite way into oncoming traffic? What if...?

The fact is that the medicines that I take to treat and prevent my chronic migraines make me sleepy. What do I do--stop driving? Maybe.

Really? Still...

I have been getting migraines since I was 14 years old. As I got older, they got worse. In may early thirties, they got so bad that I had to quit working. I was a high school teacher--as job I loved. It killed me to have to give my career up. Pretty much everyone who knows me, knows this about me. Certainly my family knows this, And, yet, when I have to cancel an engagement or I tell someone that I know that I cannot attend their dinner or the movie or whatever, I still get the judgement. I still get the audible sigh and the forced "get better." People still get pissy and judgey. It is extremely irritating, disheartening, demeaning, and downright rude! If I was blind or was in a wheel chair or suffered from multiple sclerosis or cerebral palsy, no one would blink twice if I canceled or didn't show up. Shit! If I said I had the flu, no one would question my absence or judge me. So, how does the fact that my particular ailment, my disability, is chronic migraines, somehow give people license to judge me?

Unexpected Side Effects

Unexpected side effects...no, I am not talking about medication. I am talking about the unexpected side effects of being at home. You worker bees out there are scratching your heads and thinking..."what does she mean, being at home? I'd rather be at home than at work.." Would you? Would you, really? I suppose it would depend on why you were home. If you were on vacation, of course you would rather be home than working. But, what if you were sick? Wouldn't you rather be healthy and at work than sick and at home? Probably...right? These were questions that I never really bothered to ask myself when I was fighting for my disability. All I thought about was the pain and how much I needed to stop working, not because I wanted to, but because I could not work anymore.
Now, I'm home and I never expected to feel useless or worthless or so incredibly depressed. In my brain I know that I am not useless, I do as much as I can for my family. I take very good care of four spunky kids and one difficult husband despite my migraines and the fact that I am in almost constant pain. But I still feel it. Not going to work, not teaching, in my case, makes me feel less than. When I visit my kids' schools for games or plays or parent teacher conferences (especially parent teacher conferences), I can barely keep from crying. I feel like I should be on the other side of things. I belong on the other side of things. I feel ashamed when I have to say that I am disabled and that I'm not working. I feel worthless. I know I shouldn't. I do. But I cannot shake it. Some days I feel so depressed, I don't even want to leave my bedroom, let alone the house. Some days I am in so much pain, that I cannot do either, anyway. That just makes me more depressed. These are the unexpected side effects of being at home because you have to be.

Gone...and Back again

This afternoon, a level 8/9 migraine struck me as I was driving home. Could it have been the sun in my eyes (even bothersome through my sunglasses), the change in the temperature (likely) or the three kids jovially talking in the back seat? Who knows? But it came and it pierced me right behind my eye and down my neck. My vision blurred on that ill-fated left side. I was glad to be close to home--it's not the safest thing to be carting about a car load full of kids with blurred vision--even in just one eye! We made it home, and I stuck my self with the painful Imitrex subcutaneous shot. And, within the hour, the pain had greatly subsided, and my kids and I were able to go about our day, dinner and what not. And, then....WHAM! It's back again! This life of chronic migraines is really getting old!

No, I Don't Wear Shades at Night because I Think I Look Cool

If you're a migraine sufferer, sensitivity to light is probably part of your M.O. You probably sleep with an eye mask and where sunglasses indoors wherever there is fluorescent or other harsh lighting, right?  So, you know what I am talking about. Sometimes you get caught wearing your sunglasses at night, and people look at you, quizzically, wondering if you think you are just too cool for school. I don't drive in the dark with sunglasses on, honestly, I try to avoid driving at night whenever I can. But, when I have to, I do keep my sunglasses handy in case of have to stop at a floodlight oasis for gas or I have to run into a WalMart or Meijer or other such fluorescent lit store. And, if I am at the movies, you will definitely see me wearing my shades in the dark theater. Why?  Because the light from the screen seers into my eyes and causes a migraine. So, next time you see someone like me donning shades in a darkened theater or while browsing the frozen food section, don't assume that we are silly or think we're cool or weird or have bad eye sight. Better yet, don't assume anything.