Friday, August 31, 2012

Know Your Limitations

Being a disabled person, I hear this, "know your limitations," or "don't try to do too much," and similar pieces of advice all of the time. Good advice, I suppose. But, it is easier said than done for someone like me who has always tried to do my best, be my best and who has incredible responsibilities in my four children and aspirations for a better future for myself. I want to get well; I do not want to give up my former life of teaching forever. However, when I push too hard, I do get sick, then, I get sad and angry with myself, because I should know better. I should know that I cannot do all things that I want to do or that my kids want me to do. And, painful, as it can be, I have to live with it. I have to accept it. I can help myself by saying, "no" more. For example, to my preschool child's teacher, "No, I cannot volunteer to help in the classroom." All that fluorescent lighting and the shrill voices of a bunch of small children will trigger a migraine for sure. Do I want to help?  Sure, I do. But, it's okay if I don't. Class will go on. Life will go on. An open audition at a theatre a town nearby was brought to my attention. And, I really, really wanted to audition. I planned on it. The evening of the audition arrived, and I was planning to go. Then, I paused. I paused and thought about the long, possible late-night rehearsals, the blaring stage lights, and the stress.  I realized that, at this point when I am still getting the migraines every day, that I just could not do it. It was a sad thing for me, and I was quite bummed the rest of the night, but I knew I had made the right decision for me. I know my limitations. Sad, but true.

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