Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Migraine-Anxiety Circle
Once I turned thirty, the migraines became chronic. They went from a few times a week to semi-daily/daily. I had to stop working. A typical migraine for me begins with an aura, sometimes, but not always, then a migraine. Migraine pain is hard to describe; it is the worst pain; I've had four children, and when the migraines are bad--they are worse than that, than giving birth (if you can even fathom that!)! For me, it is usually located on one side of the head of the other but not always. Along with the migraines, I experience nausea, vomiting, dizziness, vertigo, lack of concentration, confusion, ringing in my ears, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, tingling in my limbs, blurred vision, sometimes, double vision or loss of vision in one eye, fatigue, moodiness, sensitivity to smells, crying jags, disorientation, and uneasiness. My migraines last from a few hours to a few days. Yeah, it sucks. It sucks really bad. I feel cheated out of life. I miss out on a lot of things, and it's just not fair. I can't work. I cannot even drive. Drive, for Goodness Sake! I am 33 years old, and I cannot even drive myself and my kids around! It can get really depressing, sometimes. I also struggle with anxiety. I have always had some trouble with anxiety. But, when the migraines got worse, so did my anxiety. I have been in the hospital almost as many times for panic attacks in the last four years as I have been for migraines! It's the anxiety of having migraines and what I am going to have to miss because of them that is driving this vicious circle! I have a really good psychiatrist that I am working with and a great support system at home, so I'll make it through. It's not easy, though. I wake up every day wondering when I'll get the migraine and what I'll have to miss that day. Like today, for example, is my husband's birthday. Will the migraine strike and keep me from making his cake? Will I be unable to celebrate with him? Will his birthday be ruined?